Friday, February 3, 2017

HOW TO HANDLE A DISCUSSION GROUP (WITH EXCELLENCE, FOR THE LORD)



This was last given in  2007; but this was my first ever CFC Talk; way, way back in 1999. 

Talk 3 of CLP Training: HOW TO HANDLE A DISCUSSION GROUP or what is popularly known as FACILITATORS' TRAINING)


SOURCE:  DISCUSSION GROUP LEADER’S GUIDE
with own inputs and talk organization

Introduction


It’s my privilege to be before you this afternoon, my brothers and sisters, because it is always a privilege to be of service to our God.

          My assignment for today is to talk about HOW TO FACILITATE A DISCUSSION GROUP? As you may well notice, this talk consists of two major topics.

           First topic is the  DISCUSSION GROUP. (DG)
          Second, the DISCUSSION GROUP LEADER. (DGL)





A.    DISCUSSION GROUPS.

Let me start with the first topic, the DISCUSSION GROUP.

We all know that during a CLP, we break the participants into small groups of 5 to 6 couples. Naitanong nyo na ba minsan kung bakit. Why do we break the participants into small groups?

          (Seek for response)

May wisdom po kung bakit we break the participants into groups. Breaking an organization into groups has been recognized as an effective tool in running a large group meeting/discussion. According to one author, “It is one of the most basic discussion tools”. It is first and foremost a discussion tool. Hence, you would see this tool implemented in almost all organizations where there is discussion.

For example, House of Representatives. Senate. Supreme Court.

Sa HR, 250 congressmen and congresswomen. They are grouped into Committees and Subcomittees to discuss those taken from the floor. The same applies to Senate.

          Sa Supreme Court. Fifteen Justices, each a distinguished member of the bench, each assumed to be wise and diligent. The Justices are grouped into Divisions to discuss and decide cases, except those mandated by law to be tackled  en banc.
         
          Imagine a situation where there are no committees in Congress. Ang resulta – chaos and confusion. Kung lahat pag-uusapan sa floor, at the end of the day, the congressmen would be leaving the halls of congress without significant accomplishments.

          Breaking into groups therefore is for convenience. For practicality. For efficiency.

          Sa atin sa CLP, ito rin ang reason. “Our CLP is one of the longest initiations courses available in the Church. It runs for 13 weeks, with once a week sessions.” Each session runs from 2 to 3 hours. Kung hindi mo ibe-break into groups, yung thirteen sessions, kulang pa.

Pero hindi lang to save time ang reason. May mas malalim na reason bakit we break into small groups.


Purposes of discussion groups:

UNDERSTAND AND DIGEST

1.    To help the participants to understand and digest the material presented.

Pansinin nyo to. Tuwing misa. Magsesermon ang pari. Makikinig ka. Minsan, wow ang ganda ng sermon. Ang galing ng pari. Pagkatapos nang misa uuwi ka. Lilipas ang ilang araw, maaalala mo pa ba yung sermon? Kadalasan hindi.

Ibahin natin. Umattend ka ng misa. Nagsermon ang pari. Ang ganda ng sermon. Pagkatapos ng misa, papauwi ka. Nakita mo yung ka-brod mo sa Couples. Naglunch kayo kasama si Misis. Napag-usapan ninyo yung Sermon. Yung usapan ninyo lumalim, nagpalitan kayo ng opinions at reflections. Tapos umuwi na kayo.
Pagkalipas ng ilang araw, naalala ninyo pa ba yung sermon. Kadalasan, oo.

Indeed, my brothers and sisters, kung ang isang talk ay napag-usapan habang fresh pa sa memory ng mga tao yung talk, mas naiintidihan yan. Mas nadidigest. Kaya nga, sa CLP, may discussion group pagkatapos ng talk.


EXPRESS THOUGHTS

2.    To allow them to express their thoughts and feelings, and to give them a chance to ask questions.

HELP OPEN UP AND RESPOND

3.    To help people to open up and respond to God’s invitation and grace.

Pansinin nyo to. Tuwing umaattend ka ng malakihang forum. Pagkatapos ng forum, may nagtatanong ba? Kadalasan, wala. Kung meron man, konti lang. At definitely, hindi lahat ng participant sa forum, nagtatanong.

Pero, pagkatapos ng forum, magkakaroon ng informal grouping. Doon may mga magsasabi: mali naman yung speaker o hindi naman totoo yung sinabi ng speaker. Tapos na yung forum noon.

          Ito nga ang purpose din ng discussion group. Karaniwan, mas kampante ang participant na magsalita kung maliit lang ang grupo. They are able to express themselves confidently kung halos walang audience.

 Christian fellowship

4.    To provide a place for them to begin to experience Christian fellowship, preparing the way to participation in Christian community (CFC) after the CLP.

Para sa akin ito yung isa sa pinakaimportanteng purpose ng DG. This what makes our CLP different. Our DG is not all talk. Eventually it will be transformed into the household. The cell group. Sa DG, you have the first taste of what it means to be a CFC member. What is manifested by your DG leader would give one a fair idea, what and how it is to become a CFC member.


          The fulfillment of all of these purposes rest mainly on the hands of the DISCUSSION GROUP LEADER. Let us then talk about him.



A.   ROLE OF DISCUSSION GROUP LEADER

They take responsibility for the over-all care of individuals in their groups.  They will personally oversee and bring to issue each person’s relationship with Christ during the CLP.

          In general, the role of the Discussion Group Leader (DGL) is for our CFC community to reach personally  to each person attending to the CLP. The DGL is the living and palpable manifestation of what the CFC is. He personifies the CFC.


As such, the DGL has two  (2) general tasks.

A. To help set the right tone.
B. To help evangelize those in your discussion group.


1.     To help set the right tone.

Tone means mode, style, form, habit or ambience.

Minsan, napunta ako sa Laoag City, sa mausoleum ni FM. Pagpasok mo, madilim, may ilaw na nakatutok lang sa transparent na kabaong ni Marcos, tapos may may di kalakasang classical music sa background. Ang “tone” ng sitwasyon – solemn, contemplative, reverent.

O kaya pag nagbabasa ka ng nobela. Bagong buksan yung eksena, o bago mag dialogue yung mga protagonists, sineset muna ng author young “tone”.

Sa CLP natin, yung DGL ang crucial sa pagseset ng “tone”. Ang tone ang dapat mai set.

Una yung “tone” na our CLP is a serious matter. Hindi ito karaniwang gimmick o party or gathering.  

     Pangalawa, yung “tone” na welcome sa atin yung mga participants. Na ginagawa natin ang CLP out of service and out of compliance with our mission. Ang CLP ay para sa mga participants. The DGL are there to serve the particpants.

     Pangatlo,  yung tone na we are all there at the CLP to meet God.

     Kung ganito ang gusto nating “tone”, anong dapat nating gawin.


a)     Come promptly to each session at the time indicated by the team leader, so that the team meeting may be held as scheduled and there will be enough time for you to greet the participants as they come in, especially the members of your discussion group.

b)     Be warm and friendly, even if people are little stiff at first.  New people will warm up as you are warm with them.  Take special care to establish an atmosphere of love and interest in the group.

c)     Be joyful and outgoing.  Meet other men and women who are not in your group.  Encourage your group member to get to know more people outside their  own group.

d)    Participate enthusiastically in whatever is going on.  Sing the song, listen attentively (even if the talk is familiar), and follow quickly any lead the team leader gives.

e)     Pray out where there is an opportunity.  Express your prayer in a way that teaches the new people how to pray, but does not overwhelm them (e.g. grant that we may be martyrs,), and does not use unfamiliar jargon (e.g. Jesus, thank you for your all-sufficient and substitutionary sacrifice, that purchased my redemption.


2.       To help evangelize those in your discussion group.

Ang pangalawang major task ng DGL ay to help in evangelizing. As CFC member, our role is to evangelize and CLP is an integral part of the evangelization process.


Remember our battle cry: “And everyday the Lord added to their number those who were being saved” (Acts 2:47) Yung participants sa CLP, yun ang maaadd sa ating number.


To do this, we have to take note of the following advice.


a)     Remember the names and important details of your discussion group members.  By this, you communicate a great amount of concern.

Kung mag-eevangelize ka, dapat kilala mo yung taong ineevangelize mo. Personal touch, ika nga. Kuwento sa God in All Worlds.

b)     Tailor the program inputs to your members’ needs during the discussion.  You have freedom to lead discussions as you think best, with the goal of making the message of the talks connect with each one in a personal way.

Kung nag-eevangelize ka, dapat relevant yung sinasabi mo or pinag-uusapan ninyo. Yung talks natin naman ay couched in general terms – ibig sabihin karamihan ng participant ay makakidentify sa talk. Doon tayo magfocus. Kung general ang talk, nasa DGL na ang task to particularize depende sa member’s needs.


c)     Follow-up regularly with your group members during the week, especially during Module One of the CLP.  If necessary, meet with them for further discussion.  Encourage them to be open to persevere and to turn to the Lord to seek out His will for them.  Contact those who miss talks and get together with them for make-up sessions.

Our role to help  evangelize does not end with each session. It is best then to follow up. Kahit by phone.

 

d)    Intercede for them and do spiritual warfare on their behalf.  Fast and pray for them.

Ito yung karaniwan nating nalilimutan. Remember ang pagcoconduct natin ng CLP ay spiritual warfare na in itself. To suceed, we cannot just rely on human efforts. We have to pray and we have to fast. Isama natin sa prayer time natin and concerns at welfare ng members. O ilift up natin sila during our own household meetings.



e)     Do whatever is appropriate to bring to issue each one’s relationship with Christ.  It is your responsibility to help them personally and to do all you can to bring them to commitment to Christ.

Finally, remember that the DGL personifies our CFC Community. As CFC members, we are bound by our covenant to bring other couples to Jesus Christ. That’s our aim, para bang we have not achieved our goal until we have brought the attendees to Jesus Christ.



3.     Important general comments:

Maraming rules to fulfill our general goals, pero ang “rule of thumb” ay ang mga sumusunod.



LOVE

a)     The team members’ love for one another and for the participants is a crucial element of the program.

PARTICIPATION

b)     Participating in the singing and fully in the prayers is crucial, because that is the way the participants will learn how to pray.

FAITHFULNESS


c)     Faithfulness to all meetings is absolutely essential.  Being punctual is presupposed.

PREPARATION


d)    Prepare for the sessions by studying the goals and content of the sessions beforehand.  Pray and think about the discussion starters and guides.  Know what your members should be taking home from the session and help them to appropriate that.


Having known what a DGL is, let us go to the details of handling a discussion group.

B. How to handle Discussion Group

2.     Dynamics: (Leading a discussion group.)

Simple lang naman:

1.       The discussion groups form and begin right after the talk.  The men meet separately from the women.

Before that, it is advisable that item for discussion is introduced in the large group and the task of the small group is clarified. If factual information is required it should be given before the group break up. The team leader states the time limits, location of DGs, and what happens after the group discussion.


NOTE: First Group Discussion: UNANG SABAK 

Relax, Prayer, Introduction,  Confidentiality,  Questions  (R P I C Q)


2.       When first meeting as a discussion group, try to establish a relaxed atmosphere

Don’t be overly serious, but maintain control. 

Inspire confidence in others that you know what everybody is supposed to be doing.  Remember that many people have been in this type of discussion group. 

Be clear about instructions like sitting in a circle, etc.


3.       Start and end every discussion with a short prayer

Moving into Module Two and Module Three, you may ask others in your group to lead the prayer if they seem ready, but don’t put them on the spot.

4.       For the first session, start with introductions and let everyone get to know one another. 

These introductions are important. Remember that this is your initial encounter with a person. Oftentimes, pagtanggal ng ID nakalimutan na ang pangalan.

 

There are variations as to how to start the introductions. For example: “Hello A, I’m B”


1.    Participants sit in a circle, and one person begins by saying “Hello, Im ________”
2.    The next person in the circle says, “Hello A, I’m B”.
3.    The third person says, “Hello, A and B, I’m C”
4.    And so on.
5.    By the end of the exercise, almost everyone can remember the names of the participants.


5.       Assure them that the principle of confidentiality is at work in your discussions.  Whatever is shared basically remains only within the group.  General reports during team meetings maintain the anonymity of sharers.

Notes on confidentiality vs. general reports


6.       Let the group know that they are free to ask relevant questions or bring up relevant problems.


For Group Discussion in General


Our CFC materials list down tips on how to facilitate. For a better understanding of these ips, I have lumped them together and ascribed to them a context, as follows:

DRAW SA BLACKBOARD


Common Problem
Possible Causes
Suggested Prevention
Suggested Solution

1. Members doing distracting things


*People aren’t interested,

 

*They can’t identify, don’t feel important,

 

*Attention is lost.



CFC: As you listen to the talk, discern which points your people especially need to hear and try to bring those out in your sharing or in theirs.


CFC Start with easy general questions at first, then work your way up to more specific things about themselves. 



2. Someone is dominating the meeting









They may feel that they make better contributions than others



Remind at the start that you expect everyone to share; the available time is very limited.


Participation Equalizer

CFC :  Make sure everyone gets to talk during the discussion. 

CFC: Don’t allow anyone, including yourself, to take too  much time and dominate the discussion.

CFC : One way to control dominant people in discussion groups is to speak to the person before the session begins.  Encourage their sharing but impress them with the limited amount of time and the need for everyone to share.

CFC: Keep your eye on the time.  Make sure that there is enough time for everyone to share.

3.     Someone consistently brings up one idea, one issue. Repetitive.





The person may feel that he is not being heard or that he is not accepted by the group.

Not always possible. Rigid behaviour is not rational and a person usually cannot be argued out of irrational behaviour.

Affirm the person if possible. Or,Wait until after the meeting and give an honest feedback.


4.  Non-participating members.








Members may not feel that they have anything to contribute

Climate not conducive to allowing timid members to participate, or

Other members may dominate.

Or member does not know how to share.


Facilitator at the outset should encourage them to contribute their information or opinions.




Participation Equalizer

CFC:  For Module One, if the participants are still not very open or are still shy, you may have to begin the sharing yourself.  This also is a good way of showing them how the discussion/sharing is to be handled.

CFC: Encourage shy people who don’t speak much by asking them questions.  Don’t put them on the spot, however.
5. People are discussing many issues at once.



Agenda not been set or not agreed upon.

Agenda unclear
Focus the discussion on the set discussion starter.

Be clear.
Ask if the sharing is on the issue being discussed.

Record the comments for future attention and tell the people concerned about it.

CFC: Don’t let the discussion get off the subject.  Gently but authoritatively tell them that it is time to stop this line of conversation. 

Suggest another time or place to the people involved.

CFC: If the group is eager to respond to the talk, allow them to, without bothering with the discussion starter.

 

CFC: Don’t take up serious theological issues in the discussions.

6.  Strong opinions






People do not listen to “opponents” because they feel defensive. Dialogues become exclusive to the opposing sides without alternative

Catch conflicts early. On sensitive issues, begin with personal experiences rather than opinions. Introduce topic with humor. Break topic into component parts.

Switch to nondiscussion format. Break into pairs.








5.  Bad vibrations – tension in the meeting











Poor group process: domination, nonparticipation, unresolved conflicts, poor facilitation








Educate the facilitator and members on group dynamics. Choose carefully the facilitator.








Tackle a short break. Adjourn. Take up unifying or easy items.


6.  Someone walks out







Wide variety of causes. Deeply felt disagreements. An attempt to communicate or to get away altogether.


Not always possible, since a person may not be willing to compromise firmlyheld position.


Depends on a lot of variables. Talk.


*. Answering Questions
CFC
It is usually best to open up the discussion to any questions only after you are sure they have understood the main points of the talk, or if they won’t share.  Quite often, questions asked do not have anything to do with the talk.

When answering questions, you don’t need to offer everything on the subject, but only what will help the person most at this time in his/her life.  On the other hand, be willing to say “I don’t know” and/or “I’ll find out”.

Don’t talk down to people or appear to be an expert on something you are not.

Avoid Christian jargon.  There is a way in which new people cannot enter into the meanings of the phrases we know so well.

Other tips:

Take notes and write down significant details of conversations in your group so that you can keep track of your people’s progress and also as a basis for the team meeting afterwards.

Make-up sessions
Any participant who misses any talk will have to have a make-up session, which consists in listening to a tape of the talk and having a short discussion with his/her leader.

          It is the discussion leader’s responsibility to give personally the make-up session.  It should be done within the week immediately after the session missed.  The purpose is to ensure that the participant understands the talk and to give him/her an opportunity to discuss the same.



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C.    GUIDELINES FOR PERSONAL DIALOGUES (one-to-one)

1.     FIRST DIALOGUE.

     After the talk on Repentance and Faith ending Module One, the discussion group leaders meet individually with each of the members of their group.  These meetings should be held within the week prior to the start of Module Two.

     The purpose of this meeting is to see how the participants are doing, and more importantly, to see whether they are ready to go on.

     ---   Readiness to go on consists in being willing to repent and turn away from serious wrongdoing.  Has the person repented for serious sin?  You need to ask them directly and get a direct response.  If they are unclear as to what is serious sin, go through the list.  Note that what is important is willingness to turn away from sin.  Sometimes the actual turning away may not be accomplished in a single, immediate act (e.g. breaking off with a mistress or giving up addiction to liquor).  But if they are willing to repent and continue with the CLP, they may be allowed to go on.  Work out with them a timetable for finally setting their lives right, and follow up on them through the succeeding weeks.  NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO TAKE MODULE TWO IF THERE ARE SERIOUS THINGS THAT THE PERSON IS NOT WILLING TO TAKE STEPS TO AMEND.

     ----- Readiness also involves a willingness to follow Jesus and to learn more about Him.

     These individual meetings may be held at any place convenient to both leader and participant.  It may be at either’s home or office, in a church, in a restaurant, at a park, etc.  The only requirements are privacy and a peaceful atmosphere.

     If there are any issues on wrongdoing that you cannot resolve, refer them to the team leader.  Also inform the team leader of any participant who cannot be allowed to go on, prior to the start of Module Two.

GUIDE QUESTIONS FOR THE MEETING:

a)     We have been talking and discussion basics of our faith.  Are there any questions that have not been answered?  Is there anything unclear that I can help you?

b)     The first step to a full and committed life with the Lord is repentance, i.e. turning away from serious wrongdoing and turning toward the Lord.  If there is serious wrongdoing in your life, are you willing to make a definite break with it?  Serious wrongdoing includes the following:

1)     Non-Christian religions and non-Christian practices (e.g. Freemansonry, New Age, TM, etc.)

2)     All forms of the occult, spiritualism, witchcraft;

3)     Sexual wrongdoing (adultery, masturbation, active homosexuality, perversity, etc.)

4)     Murder, stealing, cheating.

5)     Lying, slander, gossip.

6)     Drunkenness, drugs.

Note for Catholics:  To make repentance full and effective, go to sacramental confession and make a firm resolution to lead a new life acceptable to Jesus.

c)     Is there anything you wish to share or discuss with me?  Is there any other way I can help you?

d)    Are you ready to turn away from sin, confess (if there is serious wrongdoing) and commit your life to the Lord?  Accept Him as Lord and Savior?

2.     SECOND DIALOGUE.

     After the 8th session on “Life in the Holy Spirit” ending Module Two, the discussion group leaders once again meet individually with each of the members of their group.  These meeting should be held prior to the next session (Receiving the Power of the Holy Spirit) which is the start of Module Three.

     The primary purpose of this individual meeting is to help the participant prepare for the prayer session where the participant is prayed with for a renewed outpouring of the Holy Spirit.  Often called “Baptism of the Holy Spirit”, this session sometimes causes unclarity in the mind of the participant.  The discussion  group leader will try to clear up any question concerning this.  The meeting also serves to give encouragement and  support to the participant and to find out specific areas where he/she needs to be strengthened and prayed for.

     These individual meetings should be held as early as possible during the week so that the participant may have enough time after this meeting to adequately prepare himself/herself for the prayer session.  Don’t wait till the last minute!

GUIDELINES FOR THE MEETING:

a)     Start with a prayer.  Foster an atmosphere of concern, friendliness and informality.

b)     Find out if there are any questions regarding what has transpired in the program or if there are any problem areas.  Discuss these.


c)     Check the participant’s understanding of baptism in the Holy Spirit and gift of tongues.  Explain these concepts again.  If there is any hang-up or fear in any of these areas, help the participant to get over them.

d)    If the participant has any involvement in the occult and the like (fortune telling, card reading, spirit of the glass, etc.) which may or may not have been brought out in the first individual meeting, lead the participant to renounce verbally this involvement.


e)     Make sure that any serious wrongdoing which the participant disclosed during your first individual meeting is no longer present in his/her life.  Find out if there are other areas of wrongdoing which the participant has not disclosed.

f)      Find out if there are other obstacles to the full release of the Spirit in his/her life.  Check areas of un-forgiveness, resentments, hatred, bitterness, etc.  Lead the participant to forgive the cause(s) of all these negative emotions.  Pray for a repentant and forgiving heart.


g)     Find out if the participant has had any traumatic experiences, so that you can pray for healing of memories during the prayer session.

h)     Find out if there are other areas of concern or difficulties that the participant would like to share with you.

i)       Ask if the participant has any prayer intention, or any specific areas that he/she would want to pray for during the baptism in the Holy Spirit.

j)       Encourage the participant (if Catholic) to go to confession, to go to Mass and receive Holy Communion, and to pray prior to the baptism in the Holy Spirit.


k)     Pray together at the end of the meeting.


3.     REMINDERS

a)     The principle of confidentiality is still very much in force.  Keep to yourself whatever information is brought out, except what you cannot handle, in which case you should bring the same to the team leader.  Any discussion of serious problems should be only with the team leader (or if necessary with the supervising Unit Head of the Chapter Head), and should not be specifically taken up during the team meeting.  The team meeting is a time of sharing in general, to see where people are at.  Always avoid gossip, slander, or any wrong way of speaking about any participant.

b)     Inform the team leader immediately of any problem you cannot handle or of any obstacle to being prayed with for the baptism in the Holy Spirit.  Don’t wait till prior to the prayer session itself.




Team meetings.

Team meetings are usually held both before and after the session itself.  The pre-session meeting helps prepare for the session.  The post-session meeting is for evaluating what happened in the session.

The team meeting is almost the only opportunity that team members have to discuss the progress of the CLP.  It should be a time for support and encouragement, a time that build unity, faith and love.  The team should spend time not talking about administrative details but having a concrete discussion of the problems and situations they are facing.

Aside from these, the team meetings also help to create a spiritual unity among  the team members, help the team members to learn to better serve the Lord, and communicate what is happening in the CLP as a whole.


D.   CLOSING EXHORTATION:  “THE TEAM”

     The Lord reaches out to men and women through the members of His body.  The new life He wants to give He offers through men and women in whom His spirit lives.  More than anything else, the CLP is the forum whereby the body of Christians who have been given a fuller life in the Spirit come together to share that gift with others.

     The team members are above all witnesses.  They are men and women who are living the life of the Holy Spirit and who can witness to its reality and effectiveness for themselves.  In order for them to be witnesses, they have to be able to speak the truth in a simple way.  People should not only see the life in them but also learn about it from them.

     It is essential for the team members to be faithful and reliable.  They have to be the persons who can be counted on.  They need to do their best to care for the persons who are entrusted to them.  And in order to be faithful, one has to have certain characteristics.

1.     He has to be growing in commitment to the Lord and to the life and mission  of CFC.

2.     He has to be committed to the renewal of individuals in the power of the Holy SpiritHe has to believe in the message of the talks and to see the importance of helping a person become firmly established in Christ.

3.     He has to be committed to his part in the CLP.  



Thank you for listening and may God be praised.




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