I am lay.
I am one among the
many. I am an expert at nothing. I will not understand with ease the technical,
the jargons and paradigms. It will take time for ideology or ontology or
eschatology to sink in my thoughts. It
will entail questions after questions for me to comprehend doctrine and
dogma. Even the simplest code and creed
might remain to me, a mystery. For all I
know is work, play and pray, and that yes, that I will die someday.
I am lay in these
troubled times. Post-modern time, they
say, is our present time. The penchant
is not to believe in anything and anyone anymore. Disappointed by the big promises and outrageous
claims of even the greatest personages in history, these days are the days of
“Ï could not care less” , and of the infamous reply: “Ma at
Pa”, meaning, “Malay ko at Pakialam ko!” literally translated as “I do not know anything about it, and I do not want to have anything to
do with it.”
But what if, the lay
is, in the words of Fr. Robert Barron, “knocked down by grace”? The lay will wrestle
with something as big as “faith” and “hope” and “love”. He will have to be attracted to “communion”,
“community” and “mission”. He will be
drawn closer to a Person. He will have to experience an Event that will change
the course of his life forever. He will have
a life with direction, after realizing the vastness of the exciting adventure
in his horizon.
The lay will hunger
for meaning. He will search. He will be restless and will start a quest. He will find wisdom to words like “we are always in danger of forgetting how
blessed we are” or “except for sin,
everything is grace” or “the longest
journey is from the mind to the heart” or simply, “Peace be with you!”
He will nod in
agreement to statements like: “The nearer Christ comes to heart, the more it
becomes conscious of its guilt. It will then either ask for his Mercy and find
peace or it will turn against Him because he is not ready to give up its
sinfulness.” (Fulton Sheen)
The lay will start to
recall that all his life, he has actually been in a faith journey. But he will
not find any comfort and consolation, until he begins to learn to give his full
attention. He will have to gaze at the world as it really is. He will have to
open his eyes and remember his “capacity to be astonished”. In other words, he will have to behold.
The lay will also have to guard his heart. He will
ask “Create in me a clean heart” for by grace, he will have to realize that in
order to “behold,” he will have to start
with the heart: “My child, give me your
heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.” (Prov 23:26) He will have to ponder, that is, “to strive to
put together (symballousa) in a deeper vision, all the events of which [one] is
a privileged witness.” (Pope John Paul
II)
Soon after, delight! As delightful as “ïf I give
you a rose, you will not doubt God anymore, but of course, the rose has to
unlock a mystical insight and appreciation.” (Tertullian)
Especially so when the journeying is with the rest
of the lay, and the rest of the Church, and with no one excluded and left
behind. The lay will always be breathless while participating in this vision:
“The
eyes of faith behold a wonderful scene: that of a countless number of lay
people, both women and men, busy at work in their daily life and activity,
oftentimes far from view and quite unacclaimed by the world, unknown to the
world's great personages but nonetheless looked upon in love by the Father,
untiring labourers who work in the Lord's vineyard. Confident and steadfast through the power of
God's grace, these are the humble yet great builders of the Kingdom of God in
history.” (John Paul II, Christifidelis Laici)
I am lay. In all humility, I am very proud to be
so.
